FAQs of Large Families

Below is an email that I sent to my husband in 2008. I appologize in advance if some of these are not your style. Apparently the authors blog is no longer active. I did my best to find the source and couldn't find anything. Hope I am not infringing on any copyrights...but I am sure glad I saved this one!

--- On Mon, 12/15/08,
Subject: Large Family Comebacks

To: "B. Giovanni ">

Date: Monday, December 15, 2008, 9:16 AM

Gio when you have a moment to yourself (lunch in your cubicle?) Take a look at the FAQs of Large Families :)

You have your hands full!

Yes, happily so!

Yes, and my heart too.


Don't say anything, just look puzzled at your hands. 
(This does obviously not work if you are carrying a baby :-)

Yes, but I would rather have my hands full than empty!


Are they all yours?

-No, I just went to Rent-a-Brat.

-No, this is not all of them, my oldest is at home with the triplets.

-No, actually two are the mailman's and I am not sure whose is that one.....

-We always say YES, because they are OURS....but actually 3 bio, 1 niece, 2 adopted and 4 foster!! But ours in our eyes!!

-No, a couple of them starting following us a few minutes ago. -- This is especially funny when you look at your kids and realize that one of them really ISN'T yours -- he had just started following you and you didn't notice before...
-No, I picked up a couple extra in the produce aisle.
-Gee, I never heard that question before!
-Yes they are! And then one of the boys will pipe up and mention the 21 yo and the 18 yo if they are not there and of course the baby on the way!

-Of course they're all mine. Do you think I take six (or fill in your number) kids shopping for fun?

-"Legally" first 3 are his and the last 3 are ours, I feel in my heart they are all ours.....

-Technically, the oldest 2 are his, the next 2 are mine and the youngest 2 are ours, but we are all just one big happy family (most of the time)LOL, because they all live with us.

-YES!

-Yes, they are all ours. We have been married for 22 years, but only have 11 kids to show for it.

-No.......... I have two more at home! (When it fits)

-Well no they are not all " OURS" but in our hearts they are......

-Yes, and they're such good kids!!!!!!!! !!!!!! (the kids love that one!)
-Of course they are..wait..who is that one?Hes not ours.....oh, yeah,#5,I forgot I had him.

-I don't know. How many do you count?

-Yes. But if you have any you don't want, I'll gladly take them, too


(i'm pregnant. I gave this response.)
-Yes, and this one (pointed to my belly) is too.

-No. I've been an avid collector for years and just picked these up in the food court!

-Yes, at least that's what I tell my husband.

-Most of the time I only have my 7 youngest ones with me, so when someone asks this, I say yes and one of the younger ones will say and there are 4 more. Then we wait to see how long it takes to add 7+4. Then you should see the looks we get.


-While I was still in hospital after having our 5th, visiting hours were over and we were all standing near the elevator, I was holding the newest and the others were all crowded around, (they ranged from 2ys to 14y) a young girl (early 20s) was trying to wade through the crowd and said "are they all yours?" to which we responded "yes", she then pointed to my still rather large belly and said "and you are having another one?" less than 24 hours after having given birth! I think not!! anyway we had a good laugh. (cbrouse23)


Are you going to have more?

Yes, we just enjoy sex soooooo much!

Why do you want to know?

Well, not today.

We are trying to get into the Genisus Book of World Records of (add whatever here) most kids, largest family living in one house, etc.

OH YES! I want to have a family bigger then the one in my favorite movie "Yours, Mine & Ours!" only (add a # here) to beat the 19 they had!!

Yes, I always want just one more.

Well, we do have a twelve passenger van.

Check back in nine months and you'll see for yourself.


Don't you know what causes that?


No, please tell me!

Of course, don't you?

Yes, we do know what causes that and we like it very much, thank you.

Oh yes, we finally figured it out and we now keep the tooth brushes in seperate glasses!

Oh yes, I now wash my husband's underwear seperately.

Oh yes, having a great sex life!

Water or sex but I don't want to give up either.

Smile brightly and say with enthusiasm "Yes and we like it!"

You bet I do......love, love, love ( and; sex, sex, sex.....hehehe. ......)

Yes! So don't get too close to me!

It's in the water. Would you like a glass?

Yes and I know WHO causes it! God gave us these children!

Yes I do........cold winter nights...... ...

LOVE! An overabundance of love!!

Yes,and as you only have two kids obviously you dont do it much.

Yes, and it is something I am very good at...

Of course, and the Lord has greatly blessed us!

A strong husband/wife relationship, big hearts, and the Lord's blessing.


Are you going to get fixed?

Nope, I am not broken!

Why do you want to know?

Huh, we thought everything was working fine for us!?!

We didn't know anything was broken.

Don't you only fix things that aren't working properly?

Well as you can see be the size of OUR family everything is in working order. :)(You have to say this last one with the kinda "I'm not to bright so your question seems kinda foolish don't you think?" attitude.


I can't believe how you do it, I cannot even handle my two!

Yes, if I had kids like you, I wouldn't have any more either!

Yes, you don't strike me as the type who could handle more kids than that.

I do it like most people, in bed and after the kids are sleeping.

I put knobs on the kids. Makes them easier to handle.

Everyone has 24 hours in a day, it is just how you use it...nt

With lots of patience, patience, patience

go and look at them while they're sleeping. This reminds me of what sweet children of God they are and keeps me going!

Oh, I just do it. Wake up in the morning, do what you have to do all day, go to bed when it's done. nt

Pick your battles carefully. It helps to have selective sight and hearing!

Don't sweat the small stuff.

(this is a good one for chat rooms) Oh, straight jackets and handcuffs!


Are you planning to have any more?

I've been wondering about this and maybe you can explain it to me: I always thought you had to plan NOT to have more.

Before we were married we planned on having 2, but I didn't know that my husband couldn't count!

We didn't plan the first six, I don't think we'll plan the next six, either.


I hope you aren't planning to have anymore?!?

You mean, I just figured out what I'm really, really good at, and you're telling me to stop doing it?

Talk to God about it... it's up to Him.

Well, we do have room in our van for 2 more.

OK, I won't plan my next one. Surprises can be fun!

Yup we are going to keep going till we get an ugly one.


Haven't you heard of birth control?

Yes, and I thank God it doesn't always work!

Yes, I've heard of it, I hope you are using it!

(for dad) Yes, but I just can't find a rubber that will fit me!

Yes, that's great stuff for people with ugly kids!

Oh yes, we do know what birth control is; it's for people who don't want children.


Don't you have a television?


Yes, but we only get X-rated channels

Yes! Did you know there are 28 porn channels in this area?

No, we have much better things to do at night!

Yes 4 of them. Why?


How can you afford having so many?

Lifestyles are expensive not kids.

We're not on welfare, in huge amounts of debt, and no, my husband is not a doctor or lawyer. We just budget well.

I figure you spend what you make, you may as well spend it on more.

" You don't know my financial backer!" (Our God, of course)

I'm still not sure how we do it...but it works!


Look at that double trouble! (for twins)

No, they are double blessings!


I am glad it is you and not me!
Yes, me too!

My kids are glad it's me and not you too! ;-)

Oh me too! I love being a mother! and smile real BIG!


Do you get any time for yourselves?

Obviously we get a little time to ourselves, or we wouldn't have six kids.


Did you give birth to all of them?

Yes, I gave birth to them all. Do you really believe the stork dropped them off?

Yes, in my heart...... (for adoptive parents)


When people just keep staring at your family....

No, we're not Catholic. No, we're not Mormon.

Yes, they all are mine!

No, we don't try to overpopulate the earth, just to outnumber the idiots!


Haven't You Had That Baby YET?!!?

"YES. This is the NEXT ONE!!!!!!!!" See if that don't make their jaws drop!


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